As I tried to find a parking space so I could see a play in the Santa Monica Theatre Row district this last weekend, I realized that there are things that sometimes don't quite fall within the mold, and one has to wonder what in the world is going on. (click here for review)
Parking is one of those things. With the price of gasoline shooting through the roof, going to review theatre plays can be a bit expensive, depending on the distance driven. But that's not all! In addition to that there's the parking. One of my least favorite things is paying a valet between $5 to $7 to do what I can do just as easily (and maybe more carefully). But then, when the valet company takes over public parking metered spaces and blocks them off so you can't park near the theatre, that really ticks me off.
Not long ago I asked one of the attendants if he could tell me how they got permission to block off public parking and prevent drivers from using them so their company could make money. He couldn't tell me. In fact, he couldn't even tell who might know - he just said "sorry" and ran off to get another car.
Which left me wondering. How does a private for profit company like the parking group get permission to take over all the parking metered spaces about an hour before the show starts and block them all off, so that theatre patrons have to either park blocks away or pay their fee to have them park?
Who gives them permission? Is it a City Hall thing? Is it a DOT loophole? Does the theatre get any of the money? If they do, that's not so bad - goodness knows they need all the money they can get. But if the parking revenue goes all to the company, then by what right do they comandeer public parking spaces that would otherwise be free to the public?
If I were a playwright (which I'm not) I would write a play about a sleazy parking lot owner who is in cahoots with another sleazy low life at the Municipal Parking Authority. The parking low lifer pays off some amount of money to the Municipal low lifer, so that their select low lifer cops will look the other way while their henchmen usurp all the good parking metered spaces and force people to use valet service. This could grow to millions in unreported - untaxed funds and the two principal low lifes would become rich and attempt to improve their position in life so they would not be such low lifes. In my play, they would accomplish this by buying lavish flashy new cars (always good for a "ooohhh" - and "ahhh"), they would buy tacky, flashy, but expensive clothes and make sure they are seen with an exotic and expensive looking female who wears mink all day and fox all night.
Well, so much for my play. I will be seeing a production again this weekend, and I'll try to get there before the low lifes (sorry) the parking valet people block off the meters so I can get a space and hope they don't ask me to move. Then all I have to do is wait in my car for about two hours for the show to start. Maybe I can try to start writing my first play in that time.
